Verbal and Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is behavior that hurts someone emotionally.

There are two main types:

• Physical: Behavior that causes physical harm to someone.
- Slapping, punching, pinching, pushing, restraining, hair-pulling, burning, cutting, choking and scratching. These behaviors cause emotional pain as well as physical pain.

• Verbal: A form of communication that intimidates, controls or disrespects another person. Verbal abuse (VA) can be subtle and confusing. It leaves bruises on the inside of a person that are just as painful as physical wounds. There are many forms including:

- Name-calling

- Ordering someone around

- Minimizing or trivializing a person’s needs, feelings or opinions

- Countering: Disagreeing with everything a person says

- Disguising insults as “jokes”

- Diverting: Changing the subject so that issues are not discussed

- Criticizing

- Denial or “forgetting” is a defensive tactic that invalidates a person’s feelings and perceptions by denying reality

- Withdrawing/ignoring

- Explosive anger frightens and intimidates others

VA is confusing because often, the person who uses VA against others tries to turn everything around and make it the victim’s fault. Partners (those who are experiencing the VA) are often willing to take responsibility for “their part” of the problem, but VA is never the victim’s fault! There is no behavior that can justify using VA against another person.

ENDING THE CYCLE is a process in which the partner comes to recognize and believe that the VA is happening and that it is not their fault. The partner must learn how to respond to the VA and discourage those who use VA from continuing their destructive behaviors. This process is complex because the partner is often suffering from core issues that make addressing the VA difficult. Some of the core issues that may need to be addressed are: low self-esteem, depression, fear, codependency and recovery from childhood abuse and neglect.

Help must also be provided for those who are using VA against others. They are hurting deep inside, and they are too frightened to address this hurt. When they use VA against others it gives them a sense of release and relief from their pain. However, this relief is only temporary because the deep hurt remains. People who use VA to cope with their own emotional pain can be helped to face and heal the core issues that continually cause them to suffer.

THE CORE HEALING CENTER^TM offers help for people who are suffering from VA. Help is also provided for those who use VA to cope with their own emotional pain. Things can change. The Core Healing Center has helped many couples to overcome the cycle of VA and to enjoy healthier, happier relationships and healthier, happier lives.

To learn more about the cycle of VA read The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans, it is a wonderful resource!

If you would like help healing from any form of abuse, call
(734) 776-2284.

Or you may email us.

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